Thursday, March 09, 2006

Remember that little incident in 1977, madam. . . ?

OK, yeah. It's down to the last two competitors for the job in New York. I still think I'm the ringer. Nevertheless, I signed my life away on Tuesday, agreeing to let my potential employer run every kind of check, test, and screening they want on me - criminal, driving, drug, credit, resume, references, Coke vs. Pepsi, etc.

My fear is that a couple of goons'll show up at my door, handcuff me, and throw me in the clink for something I'm completely unaware of on said records. Did I forget to pay my taxes one year? (Nah, the IRS would of pulled me in by now.) Was I a member of a prostitution ring back in the 70's that I've blanked on? Do I show up on the FBI file? (Cool!) Will they get me mixed up with Mary "Machine Gun Mama" Brennan, mad-dog of Hackensack? Do I get a court-appointed lawyer?

There's something about signing over my right to privacy that makes me paranoid, even though I've been a pretty good girl all my life. Wonder why that is? Oh, well. Pandora's Box has been opened, so I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

(Coke, by the way. I'm from Atlanta. Pah on Pepsi. Put that in my file.)

3 comments:

Chris said...

Wow, down to the last two - that in itself is pretty impressive. Still keeping fingers, legs and everything else crossed for you, Mary. The suspense is killing me so I can't imagine what it's doing to you!!

Anonymous said...

As a teenager, did you ever go "parking" up at the fire tower or out at the lake? AH-HA... They have a list of every license plate and every occupant of every car that ever did that. It's called the Lewd Slut Directory (LSD), and if you're in it you're done...

Let's hope the database is kept on a Windows system so that it will crash before they find you...

MaryB said...

OOh, Winston, you betcha'. The hot spot to park in Chattanooga was at the Chicamauga Dam - beautiful park area, lots of vistas for plenty of steamed-up teenage vehicles. Cops would come through a couple of times a night and tell you to move on. Our alternate space was at the Tennessee Welcome Center just over the Georgia line at the I-75/I-24 split in East Ridge. Since a lot of tourists pulled over for a little nap, no one paid any attention to what we were doing.

Yep. I'm doomed. No telling how many "LSD" citations I have on my record.